New blog...

the smore's life

Getting close to my 'scary time'...

I am 10.5 weeks, and my 'scary time' is getting close fast. I've already had a dream that I started to bleed, but in the dream everything was fine. I think subconsciously I am freaking out, even though on the surface I am trying to keep my composure and reassure myself that everything is going to be fine. Thankfully, I will be in a happy relaxing place during this 'scary time' which should hopefully help me stay reassured everything will be fine. I am going to take it easy and enjoy time with family and friends. And of course eat my heart out with all the delicious food that will be surrounding me.

So far everything has been perfect. I have been taking it as easy as possible and taking extra precautions that probably make people think I'm crazy...but to me it's not worth it to take any risks. My last ultrasound was the other day and everything looked perfect. It even looked like there was much more room for the baby in there. Now the pregnancy can take up the space of my whole uterus. The baby was so happy and dancing away in there! I compared pictures of my 3 babies at 10 weeks and they all look so similar, but yet I can notice little differences in them. My sweet babies.

I am ready to overcome my scary time and feel relieved when everything is fine.

Going back in time...

Here is the one year year video of Lyla's life....

http://vimeo.com/40592429

with the March of Dimes walks right around the corner, please consider walking or donating to help babies.

Pregnancy, Round Three...

The cycle after my surgery I was so worked up on getting pregnant. I was crafting baby stuff for other people and hoarding some for myself for our future baby, and I was taking vitamins in hopes that it would prepare my body and help me ovulate. When I was supposed to be ovulating, I started having some pain and went in to the dr. They told me I just had a cyst burst and that it did look like I ovulated, but from the blood work it didn't look like I was pregnant, so I should be getting my period. I was super depressed about it. I started testing anyway. When it still didn't come, I kept testing and they were all negative. I decided to just let go. I realized none of this was in my control and I needed to relax and let my plan unfold.

A week later, still nothing. One morning I was so sleepy, but mid-pee the thought to test came rushing to my mind. So I did, and I seriously could not believe my eyes. I saw a second line appearing. None of this made sense. I did not understand how this could be happening, except that I let go, and let God. He decided to bless us. I was overjoyed and crying. I took multiple tests that day and that week to make sure it was real.

It was. I started to worry about what I was eating and what I was doing. I decided I needed to take it easy and just pray and stay positive and relaxed. None of this is in my control. I just need to take care of myself. I made my appointments, and the waiting game began. Some morning sickness also began, but it made me happy. I bet you've never heard a pregnant woman say they were happy about this. But I am. And I will be even more happy for any more of the 'typical' pregnancy symptoms to occur.

I am taking this pregnancy day by day, and thanking God each day that I am pregnant with a precious little one. I just had my first ultrasound and found out I was 6w1d. Got to see a little flicker of a heartbeat and it was so reassuring and refreshing to know that I have a little one safe and sound in there. Wish I could see that every day, but I have pictures and prayers to keep me going until my next appointment! So far my due date is November 20. So thankful and blessed!

A baby is a part of your life from the first day you find out you are pregnant, when you see the 2 pink lines. You should cherish every moment.

Post surgery #2...

So glad I'm done with surgery. The septum was successfully and completely removed. And good news is that there is a good blood supply to the uterine wall where the septum was, which is important for when an embryo implants. The doctor made an incision to check and he said everything looks great now.  I am a little more sore this time, and I am on hormones again for 3 weeks to assist with the healing. Luckily we had no complications like last time. The only thing different was that I started to get some hives, so I was given benedryl. Not sure why that happened, but they went away immediately. Now I will just have some follow up doctor's appointments and then I can move on.

So thankful my uterus is finally fixed. Hopefully these surgeries have fixed all of my pregnancy issues and some day I can experience a 'normal' pregnancy and have a healthy take-home baby.

2nd/last surgery...

Tomorrow is the day. Glad to get it over with. Ready to move on and experience joy in my life again. Love to my angel baby in heaven.